What do you do when your house smells like popcorn at 4:30 am?
Yeah. It’s 4:30 AM and the salty scent has awakened you.
Alright that’s a lie.
You never actually went to sleep because you were too busy watching reruns of your favorite show on your laptop. But that’s beside the point. PS – go to sleep.
Anyway, the way I see it, you have two options when bombarded with the delicious perfume of poppin’ corn:
1. Do you join the murderer? (because it’s obviously only murderers that enjoy popcorn at 4:30 AM)
I mean seriously, when you went to sleep* you were home alone… unless you count the cat, but she is well aware of the fact that she is only allowed to use the microwave for emergencies and bacon.
2. If it’s not a popcorn-making murderer in your house, is it possible that perhaps the mouth-watering aroma can be chalked up to wishful thinking (or rather smelling)? Your stomach IS growling so perhaps you should go make popcorn…
But that will end only one way –
Buttery fingers rubbed on face acting as a catalyst for the second coming of Mt. Everest to find a home on your lower chin added to a lack of sleeping which then makes you look tired so later in the day when you run into a cute checker at the grocery store, instead of smiling and casually flirting with you (as he would have had you not stayed awake and eaten popcorn at 5 am) in this greasy, acne-filled universe he does not even look twice at you and your dreams of falling in love at a grocery store (the dream you’ve had since you were four years old) is forever ruined…
Moral of the story? Think twice before eating popcorn in the middle of the night.
*retired to your room 6 hours ago to watch Castle